How do I get Medicare to talk with me about my parent?
Medicare protects your parent's privacy, so it shares personal health information with you only if your parent says it's OK. There are two ways:
- On the phone. Your parent can give verbal permission while you are both on the call with 1-800-MEDICARE (1-800-633-4227, TTY 1-877-486-2048).
- In writing. Your parent can sign the Authorization to Disclose Personal Health Information form (CMS-10106), available in English and Spanish from Medicare's contact page. Once Medicare processes it, you can call on your parent's behalf without them on the line.
This form only lets Medicare share information with you. It does not make you your parent's representative for appeals, and it does not let you make health care or money decisions. If your parent has a Medicare Advantage or Part D plan, call the Member Services number on the plan card and ask what the plan needs before it will talk with you.
How can I handle an appeal or claim for my parent?
To file an appeal, a claim or a complaint for your parent, your parent should name you on Medicare's Appointment of Representative form, CMS-1696. As the appointed representative, you can make requests and receive notices on your parent's behalf, and Medicare may share the medical information the appeal needs. Keep a copy, and send one with each appeal. If a hospital discharge is the problem, call Acentra Health, the Medicare quality improvement organization for Oklahoma, at 1-888-315-0636 (TTY 711). See Medicare appeals in Oklahoma.
Who can manage my parent's Social Security money?
If your parent can no longer manage their Social Security or SSI benefits, Social Security can appoint a representative payee, a person or organization that receives the benefits and uses them for your parent's needs.
- A power of attorney isn't enough. Social Security says a power of attorney or a joint bank account does not give you authority to manage someone else's benefits.
- How to apply. Contact Social Security. You fill out Form SSA-11 (Request to be selected as payee) and show proof of your identity, usually in a face-to-face interview at a local office. Find the nearest Oklahoma office with the Social Security office locator.
- Your duties. A payee must use the money for your parent's current needs, save what isn't needed, keep records and report to Social Security on how the money was used when asked.
- Plan ahead. With Advance Designation, your parent can name up to three people Social Security should consider as payee if one is ever needed.
Social Security: 1-800-772-1213 (TTY 1-800-325-0778), 8 a.m. to 7 p.m., Monday through Friday.
How does an Oklahoma advance directive work?
Oklahoma's Advance Directive Act (63 O.S. § 3101.1 and following sections) lets an adult put health care wishes in writing. The form in 63 O.S. § 3101.4 has three parts:
- Living will. Instructions about life-sustaining treatment, including artificially administered nutrition and hydration, if your parent has a terminal condition, is persistently unconscious or has an end-stage condition.
- Health care proxy. The person your parent names to make decisions consistent with their wishes if two physicians determine your parent can no longer make medical decisions.
- Anatomical gifts. Organ and tissue donation choices.
How to sign it. Your parent must be 18 or older and of sound mind. The directive is signed by your parent and witnessed by two people who are 18 or older and are not legatees, devisees or heirs at law. The statutory form adds that witnesses must not be related to your parent. The statute calls for witnesses, not a notary. Under § 3101.5, the directive becomes operative when it's given to the attending physician and your parent can no longer make decisions about life-sustaining treatment. Give copies to your parent's doctors and keep one in your caregiver folder.
Oklahoma's law is changing. House Bill 1687, the Uniform Health Care Decisions Act, was signed in May 2026 and takes effect July 1, 2027. It replaces the current advance directive and health care agent laws and includes an optional new form. Until then, the current Act and form apply. If your parent signs or updates a directive near that date, ask an attorney which rules apply.
An advance directive does not replace the Medicare and Social Security forms above; each agency has its own rules. A financial power of attorney covers property and money, not medical decisions. For complex situations, such as when a court may need to appoint a guardian, talk with an attorney.
Where can an Oklahoma caregiver find help and a break?
Oklahoma Human Services (OKDHS) is the state aging agency. Its Community Living, Aging and Protective Services division lists these programs:
Area Agencies on Aging
Oklahoma's Area Agencies on Aging serve people 60 and older with meals, transportation, legal services, homemaker and chore help, home repair and information. You don't have to be low-income to get services. Call the Senior Info-Line at 1-800-211-2116 to reach the agency for your county.
Family Caregiver Support (respite)
The National Family Caregiver Support Program, run through the Area Agencies on Aging, serves primary caregivers of someone 60 or older who needs help with at least two activities of daily living or is limited by Alzheimer's disease or dementia, and relatives 55 or older raising a child. Respite is one of its services.
Lifespan Respite vouchers
If the person you care for is younger than 60, for example a parent on Medicare because of a disability, the Lifespan Respite Grant voucher program, operated by Sooner SUCCESS, may help pay a respite provider you choose. Call 1-877-441-0434. The caregiver must be unpaid and the household's adjusted gross income must be under the program's limit.
ADvantage waiver
If your parent qualifies for SoonerCare and needs a nursing-home level of care, the ADvantage waiver can provide care at home, including case management, personal care, adult day health, home-delivered meals and respite. Call the Medicaid Services Unit at 1-800-435-4711. See the ADvantage waiver in Oklahoma.
OKDHS also lists PACE (the Program of All-inclusive Care for the Elderly) for people 55 and older who need a nursing-home level of care and live in a PACE service area. As of November 2025, Oklahoma had four PACE centers, in Tahlequah, Tulsa, Oklahoma City and Shawnee. Ask the Oklahoma Health Care Authority's PACE line, 405-522-7044, whether your parent's address is in a service area.
What can I do day to day?
- Set up a Medicare.gov account with your parent. You can both see Original Medicare claims as soon as they're processed.
- Review statements every month. Look for services or supplies your parent didn't get. The Oklahoma Insurance Department warned in March 2026 about Medicare bills for catheters people never ordered. See Medicare fraud in Oklahoma.
- Check for help with costs. If your parent lives on a fixed income, see whether they qualify for a Medicare Savings Program or Extra Help. See Medicare Savings Programs in Oklahoma and SoonerCare and Medicare.
- Mark Open Enrollment on the calendar. From October 15 to December 7, check whether your parent's doctors and drugs are still covered for next year. If your parent's plan is ending, see Oklahoma plans ending in 2027.
- Keep a caregiver folder. Include your parent's Medicare and plan cards, drug list, doctors, the signed permission forms and the advance directive.
Help reviewing your parent's plan
A licensed insurance agent who works with Benefits Life can join a call with you and your parent and explain Medicare Advantage, Medigap and Part D plans from the companies they work with, at no cost to you. Your parent decides; you can help ask the questions. You can request a call from a licensed insurance agent, or see plans for your parent's ZIP code.
Sources
- Medicare.gov — Contact Medicare (Authorization to Disclose Personal Health Information, CMS-10106)
- CMS — Form CMS-1696, Appointment of Representative
- Social Security — Frequently asked questions for representative payees
- Social Security — Need help managing money
- OSCN — 63 O.S. § 3101.4, Advance directive form and procedures
- OSCN — 63 O.S. § 3101.5, When an advance directive becomes operative
- Oklahoma House of Representatives — Uniform Health Care Decisions Act (HB 1687) signed, effective July 1, 2027
- OKDHS — Oklahoma Aging and Disability Programs (updated November 25, 2025)
- Acentra Health — Oklahoma BFCC-QIO beneficiary helpline
Frequently asked questions
How do I get permission to talk to Medicare for my mother or father?
Your parent can give verbal permission while you are both on the phone with 1-800-MEDICARE, or can sign Medicare's Authorization to Disclose Personal Health Information form (CMS-10106), which comes in English and Spanish. The form lets Medicare share your parent's information with you; it does not let you make decisions for them.
Can I file a Medicare appeal for my parent?
Yes, if your parent names you as their representative on Medicare's Appointment of Representative form, CMS-1696. A representative can request appeals and receive notices on your parent's behalf. For hospital discharge appeals in Oklahoma, the quality improvement organization is Acentra Health, 1-888-315-0636 (TTY 711).
Does a power of attorney let me manage my parent's Social Security?
No. Social Security says a power of attorney or a joint bank account does not give you authority to manage someone's Social Security benefits. Social Security must appoint you as representative payee, usually after an in-person interview using Form SSA-11.
How is an Oklahoma advance directive signed?
Under 63 O.S. § 3101.4, an adult of sound mind signs the advance directive in front of two witnesses who are 18 or older and are not legatees, devisees or heirs at law. The statutory form also says witnesses must not be related to the person signing. The form covers a living will, the appointment of a health care proxy and anatomical gifts. A new Oklahoma law, the Uniform Health Care Decisions Act (HB 1687), takes effect July 1, 2027.
Where can an Oklahoma caregiver get a break?
Oklahoma's Area Agencies on Aging run the National Family Caregiver Support Program, which can include respite, for primary caregivers of someone 60 or older who needs help with at least two daily activities or has Alzheimer's disease or dementia. Call the Senior Info-Line at 1-800-211-2116 to reach your local agency. If your parent gets the ADvantage waiver, respite can be part of their services.
Medicare in your Oklahoma county
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